April 2011


Am not native of Chennai,but i should admit i had fallen in love with this city.Had spent almost 8 years here,my marriage happened here and the husband is native of chennai,guess this is all enough to fall in love with this city.

 I have a special love for this place “Parrys corner”.For many,shopping or roaming out in Parrys corner may not appeal,but i simply love this place,for  everything that it has. I have been to this place for shopping lot many times, i did a shopping for my wedding card here with my FIL.

Parry corner is also famous for its old flame “Kothavaal savadi”(a vegetable market) ,i would probably love to shop from this kinda place instead of picking apples from a reliance mart.

Good old memories of shopping in NSC bose road,M.A Jacob’s,the Khadi craft,Godown street(  textile),kasi chetty for all those stationery and a good lunch either at Ramakrishna or Saravana Bhavan.Or just a evening visit there and getting your hands on some dessert from Nandhinee. There will be a mad rush during festival times and you would get your hands dusted there,very narrowed streets and most of them named after some chetty.

Heavy rush,Small bargains,fresh vegetables,tons of papers and note books,beautiful and cheap crockery stuff,all these could define the memory of the parrys corner what i saw.

I have not visited it in the last three years,but gladly the little sistah does some shopping there and in Washermenpet for clothes.I would love to shop in this kind of setting than a jazzy mall,artificially beautified.But living here in this country you have only limited choice to shop outside of Hypermarkets.Even in India these days Mall culture is fast spreading and i have been to the latest mall opened in Chennai with tight security just to watch Endhiran movie.

I remember this book, ” The last juror” by John grisham,where he explains how malls destroyed the local market. Having raised up in a small town TN,am only used to buy vegetables from “weekly sandhai”(local market which opens only once in a week) and monthly groceries from a big naataan kadai( grocery stores by a certain sect in TN) and daily or urgent needs from small naataan kadai and for stationeries from only a partiuclar shop and for jewellery a trusted jeweller known to the family.Now i could see Reliance freh mart and the like ones in my own town and people prefer going there instead of local market.

Yesterday been to the dining district here(Adliya) and was taken back to nostalgia of good old parrys corner.This district has lot of carpet and handicraft and flower shops,where you can get down and bargain just lurk around enjoying  individuality of each shop. Also i love the market here in Isa town souq, which just reminds us of any local market, with varied items and the little dust and rush which i wish to go with every shopping.

P.S : Tried to link up kothavaal savadi link in wikipedia,and found nothing,surprising..

After two disturbing post this one comes as a light read,just for heartening.One more year had passed in the tamizh calendar,Tamilnadu welcomed this new year  with higher voting percentage,which sets a smiley curve on face,yet this doubting mind thinks will it be the manifold increase in phony votes,well lets think only good.

And strangely in this new year,i have decided to play the role of Major sundarrajan,for  Ambuli to benefit from language.

Before coming to office,watched a debate in Sun TV and had a good laugh.Prepared almost  the same dishes i have done here. Vadai batter is sitting in fridge for me,and appalams and vadams are pending,will have them hot for lunch.Unlike last year,i would not go beyond my limits in bingeing and would indulge less.Oops,tomorrow awaits for another feast,yes vishu is on April 15th.

Had a  call yesterday evening and i should say it is an wonderful start for a new year.Hope this new year brings all of us,peace,health and Happiness.Wishes to everyone out there.

Another article i read today,which is a brutal CSA.

In one of the villages of TN,a 11 year old had been raped and killed by slitting her throat using a beer bottle.This proves that world is becoming a very unsafe place to live.Father and Mother both daily wagers and this girl on her way to Grandma has been abducted and killed. The girl has been tried with small tricks earlier and one day they fulfilled their lust and not to let the truth come out,they had murdered her in a brutal way.This incident sends a shiver through spine.

Not sure how this case will proceed,will money power play part,will the victims escape and the parents are to live with heavy heart for rest of the life ? What should be the punishment for this crime?

When we worry about our kids who are relatively safe,yet potential danger for moderate assault exists,what is the state of kids in villages,kids roaming in streets,kids who work as child labors,kids who are abandoned and kids under the trap of phony orphanages,kids who are being sold to foreigners without any proper documentation and abused later.

CSA is a very very wide chapter,under which every abuse from physical,mental and brutal comes in.In India,with huge diverse population CSA exists under various forms and ways and under all sects.Urban,rural,poor and privileged every kid is under a potential danger.

Recollecting the little news i have read,i could  remember more than handful incidents which involve CSA,one includes even 2.5 yrs old, raped and murdered.Most of the times its the rage against adults/parents directed towards  their kids.As mentioned in the previous post,the one incident which shook TN was the murder of two kids in Coimbatore and the accused is murdered in encounter.I dont have any clue on rest of the cases.

So what is in our legislation for crimes against kids? The truth is there is no separate legislation,the laws for crimes against women is applied for kids and it is an absolute misfit.There needs to be an initiative to bring up separate legislation which would fit for CSA,including all different possibilities,never leaving a loophole. Read about the laws we have against child abuse here,note that in any case the accused will not be imprisoned for more than 12 years and in most cases it is confined to 7 years.

And what are we going to do about those small degree of assault performed mainly by family and friends circle,which will have a long effect on the kid ? Definitely we parents should stand up against it and protest,how close they may be.

As mentioned in the comment of previous post by CSAA,we need to maintain a separate registry of crimes against children,this would be very helpful to assess the degree of CSA impact in our society.

And hats off to CSAA team for bring up this issue to light and creating a widespread awareness.This is one of the serious issue which needs immediate attention.

Child sexual abuse is one of those,which goes un noticed,but daunt the victim.The issue is many parents are not conscious of this and many close their eyes as this will not happen to their child and the few concerned also do not give the strength and courage to face this abuse,only a few parents are ready for this.

Talking about CSA,it can come from anyone and to any kid,not restricted to girls alone,any kids is vulnerable considering the predators around.Many of us in our lifetime would have surely encountered CSA,only the magnitude differs.

Few months back i read a book based on real life incident happened in California and was  shocked.The book was “Steven stayner abduction case”.The real life story was horrifying and than that author describes the  gay clubs and forums in USA which is targeting on young boys,celebrities included and funding for this comes from them.They abduct or use a neighbourhood kids to satisfy their hunger.There were also straight cases were older men are interested in girl kids from the age of 4 yrs,including a popular author.

The accused in steven staynor case was let go free after 7 years in this,because of the state laws are limited to punish him only for 7 years,after which he took in charge of a boy’s hostel guardian,something like treasure under control of  thief.

If this is the case in USA,what happens in India is there is no separate legislation to handle offences against children.There are a lot of kids being trafficked and used for commercial sex purposes,that is a whole different chapter.

Coming to kids in our household,which we claim they are safe,are really not safe.As stated by everyone,it is always a known person who commits the crime,an excellent example is the abduction and murder of two kids happened in Coimbatore by their driver.These are all extreme cases, but there is always a moderate assault on any kid that grows up.

 A recent article in a magazine by a CSA adviser here tells a sexual abuse by their own parents,

“The teen age girl was made to sleep with her parents in the same room and she saw horrible stuff in middle of night,which affected all her performance,when she wanted to sleep in separate room,the parents did not allow. Upon serious results in academics and personal behavior, this girl was taken to counselling and the truth came out.So sexual abuse can also happen mentally.”

 With my daughter being very social and mixes with adults very well,am always scared and i make sure that she is within my eye reach.I have once got a wonderful book from the ministry of health here,which had simple pictorial explanation about the rights of his/her own body a child has.With scenarios explained as when they should say ‘Yes’ and when he should say “No”. Kissing a child on the cheek even when she/he dislikes is a abuse.

So what do we do about it

1. Remove all your false belief as girl kids are only targeted and boys are considerably safe.Dont think that abuse is most of the time straight,it can be anyway,world is weird,cannot trust ladies also.

2. The best of all is to show a smooth and trusted relation with your little one and make them speak more on daily happenings.

3.Educate them,to the best level you can.About the touches,and some scenarios when they should respond with a “No” and tell them that needs to be reported to you immediately.

4.When the kid is trying to say something,dont hush them,try to find out from them and confront the person,even if he/she is very close.

5.If there are any unexplained bruises,ask them smoothly and find out the reason behind it.

6. When you are leaving your kid with someone else,make sure you leave her/him to a very trusted family and there is a kid which can accompany.

7. When you send our kids to play in apartment floor or garden downstairs,have a check every 15 mins as where they are.

8.Just dont succumb because people might think that you are paranoid, have your own rules to handle things.Always make sure that your child understands,strangers are harmful(not always,but still) and they should exercise caution towards them.

9. Always monitor the external help you hire to take care of kids,even though they are not involved directly,they may bring in someone.

10. Older kids can also abuse sometimes,so make sure that you keep track of your kids friend at any point of time.You can always find out if their intention is bad.

11.Train travel in india is especially tough with the bunch of morons around,whenever you travel you accompany the kid to washroom in train and keep an eye on fellow travellers who try to befriend your kid,they may be harmless,but never take a chance.

12. School tours or field trips are not to be avoided,but there is always a potential danger with teacher to kid ratio being small.

The best practise is  to educate them appropriately and maintain a open talk relationship with your kid and be vigilant all the time.

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Together with the info shared and vigilance lets keep our children safe.

பயணித்த பாதையில் திரும்பி பார்க்கும் போதெல்லாம்

நான் இழந்ததை உணர்கிறேன்
இழப்பதும் பெறுவதும் ஆக வாழ்க்கை கணக்கேட்டில்
எழுதப்படுவதை காண்கிறேன்
 
கணக்குகள் எப்பொழுதும் சமனப்படுவதில்லை   
இழந்ததை காட்டில் பெற்றது பல சமயம் இனிக்கவே செய்கிறது
ஒன்றை இழந்தாலே மற்றொன்று என்ற வலியுறுத்தல் வலிக்கவே செய்கிறது
 
வேண்டா கணக்கு வழக்கை    ஒதுக்கி பெற்றதில் பேருவகை கொள்கையில்
சலனமில்ல சந்தோஷத்தில் திளைக்கிறது  என் மனம்  

So finally the cup is here.After huge tensions among viewers for both the team’s innings.

Somehow am not a fan of cricket,in fact most other games too,and i did saw immense patriotism by bleeding blue,signature campaigns,frequent FB updates and all the hype.I felt awful for the media showcasing strip teasing bit before finals.We need to be sensible in a way we support our country in one particular game.

Well,the husband watched two matches in the whole series,one Ind Vs Pak and this final match.Everyone one in his office took off on Ind/Pak match and he came home much early.So to resolve the boredom i did slogged in kitchen making onion/cauliflower pakoda for pakistan match and Grilled sprouted peas burger for yesterday match,after a good nap of course.