Regural readers by now would know that am having trouble getting her to school everyday.I am extremely upset today because of her behaviour,she cried and cried long enough to throw up and rest in home.One morning she prayed,” Ummachi,enakku schoolu.kku poga vendam,aathuleye naan samatha padikkannum” ( I should not go to school,i should learn from home itself).Home schooling is there a option for me here ? If yes i would happily go for that,if she can learn to be social outside home.

Her school as i know has wonderful staff and kids too are close to her,she was normal and going to school happily,suddenly she refuses,i accepted it on the day when i was off,but today if she is happy to stay in home than to go to school,is something wrong in school ? I did asked her teachers if she is crying or fighting or any issues in class,they said ‘No’,so where my diagnosis leading me to ?

And in evening she is says her current school is the best one as i tell her in April she could be going to BIG school.Or is she simply trying to avoid going to school,i am tired.

With the given situation, she will be moving to big school in april,an Indian one at that.Last year when i joined her in the current school,i was planning to continue preparatory classes there,it is british syllabus and best suited for kids moving to British school for further education.It is not very ideal for her to have prep classes here if she moves into Indian school for first standard as she will never know a bit of Hindi. 

I wanted to avoid British school mainly because,

1. Those schools are pricey, we may be able to afford,provided she remains single kid and we both earn.Check here and here.

2.She could feel left out amidst affluent,non desi kids.Certainly we cannot drop her in Audi or Porsche or Lamborghini.

3.What when we go back to India,where will she fit ?

Am not a strong believer in conventional CBSE or Indian system,but here i have only two options either to go to British or India.Certain schools claim to be American but i learned from an expert that most of them are not accredited and their diplomas are not accepted,only one proves to be genuine,but am sure we may not be able to make it.There is one more choueifat,but am not sure on this system.No montessori or other options.British schools moved out of choice,but i yearned to consider them as soon as i learnt that Indian schools ask UKG kids to write one to fifteen in Hindi in words.So considering the limited choices, we chose Indian,as most of the kids known to her are joining Indian school.Out of all available Indian school we chose that one which has no competitive/formal exams until 5th standard(atleast) and a activity based education,they do maths activity of taking up a theory and researching it, so far it sounds good,the only thing i would hate is introducing computers as early as first standard,am quiet not happy about it.I strongly believe set of crayons,poster colors are far better than MS paint to trigger imagination and creativity in Kids.

Now,there comes the tough part,for admission in april,they issued admission forms today,DD wanted to go in Morning and collect it,but because of throwing up drama we both were late to office and by the time he went interview date ran out and we got Interview date on Jan 12th.Now she has transformed into a very shy kid and will not even talk to interview board i believe,quiet scary if i miss admission here,because there is another school which would want to stand in line the previous night itself to secure a admission form.I pray and wish that she gets into this school. I took a calendar explained that we are now in january,whizzed past pages of Feruary and march and landed in April and told her she will going to XYZ school in April.And afterwhile she says ‘Amma i want to go to school’ and i ask which school,she replies ‘April school’.

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What could be her first stage performance after all,am not going to dig deeper into it as DD already have sulked so much for his mistake,did i tell he is the culprit ?

Two weeks back,we had Ambuli’s school christmas celebration in British club.DD even got the passes for it.Post Bali and Singapore trip,a very hectic one at that,we all had a sickness spell and recovered only 10 days post arrival in bahrain and obviously she did not go to school.So i was under an impression that she is not participating in anything(as she has not attended school almost for a month),but i felt we must show her all those.

As norm in this house hold,we(read it as them,dad and daughter) went late to the party(in spite me waking up early and finishing everything on time) when the older kids from Prep class started dancing(Ambuli is in nursery).It was pretty lovely to see kids dancing without a cry or fuss.I did felt for ambuli having missed the fun,but she did enjoyed watching akkas and annas dancing.Myself and ambuli went rested a while he was away for a coffee break,the class teacher came straight to me and asked ‘why are late today,i have informed your husband that she is in a russian folk dance and wanted you to come early?”. It was very missing feel,i must tell you.

When i informed him,he was sure that he was not informed and we hd petty arguments as he started sulking too much, definitely  a long time to go and she still very young to get pretty many chances,though i felt a lump in my throat,for not having seen my daughter dancing a russian folk dance.

Only silver lining in amidst all these was,we won a raffle sold,second time in my life to win something in raffles or draws.

And on other note she has started talking so much and has become extremely sensitive,am in a state of confusion to handle her especially in my miffed state.One angry word and she tells you almost in a broken state and pleading voice “Amma enna thitidha amma”(pls don’t scold me amma),that leaves me in a quagmire.

We also had a birthday celebration in school,with a cake and goody bag for kids.We walked into the classroom together,a best friend of her came running but she clambered on me and refused to civil with any of her classmates and made a pool of tears when i left.What could be wrong,almost a year now and still she is not settled,every morning she tells me ‘Amma school poga vendam, nee office pogave koodathu’ (I don’t want to go to school and you should not go to office).lets read some books and play together amma.Am very confused and not sure how will i handle this.

Yes, am feeling it.Off from work yesterday and today and am loving it more than i ever did.Waking up @ 8 to fix an ok breakfast to husband and running behind the littledevil  to brush and make her eat,read all those books which were not touched in recent past and cook relaxed or order husband to have lunch outside and cook only for baby and rest all the day.Oh boy,am loving it.If someone asks me today if i want to continue in the same fashion,i would nod my head without looking back.Life had been so mechanical and i realise it only today.But few days down the line,i may want to go back to original state,how strange the human mind is.

You working mothers out there pls tell me you get this feeling once in while at least.So that am not the odd (wo)man out here.

She too enjoys me being home and orders me “Amma velaikku pogave koodathu(You should never leave for office)”.Also i notice that i have become more of  an impatient mother, very tired to feed her when she tries spitting each spoon.I may not approvethose  she likes and she rejects what i choose as healthy stuff,the tug of war is on.Secretly am waiting for Ammamma to settle her food habits.

Delights of the day yesterday was, i found her english improved,slightly disciplined,and she is back to spicy food.Friends on FB page know her Tanglish conversations.I place dosa on her plate for breakfast and bring yoghurt and serve her and leave it there,she rushes to fridge and opens it and asks me “Come,bring the yoghurt,put in fridge” said the sentence in English.Am relieved,for when we go back to India,the doting grand parents can proudly claim that their grand-daughter could speak in english and for those neighbours who think that NRI kids can speak only english and  possibly avoid the secret  gossip “Veli naatula irundhum english pesa theiryala,namma moonaavadhu theru munuswamy paiyane nalla english pesaran”( Living abroad and still cant speak in english). And some relatives who will tell you “Enga chithi pon america.la irukkle,avaloda kozhandi ellam porandadhil irundhe english than pesuvan,english kaarale aachariya padara alavu ippo pesaranna parthukkoyyen” and few more around who will pick their chance to quote some examples.

In the past few months she was even rejecting ‘rasam(tomato clear soup, a staple south indian dish) saadam’ as ‘kaaram(hot)’ and showed a behavior of developing sweet tooth,needless tosay  am worried.But yesterday when we sat down for breakfast,she started licking raw ‘idli molagai podi(powder made from lentils and cayenne)’ from my plate.A sign she is like her father.

When it comes to discipline she is yet to improve but i feel this is ok.She sees to that the plate she had food is goes to sink,replaces the juice carton back in place in fridge,places the book back in book-case,when we are back home removes shoes herself and places it in shoe rack.Height of discipline is to pick up the bowl even before i place the pan on cooking range.

Things which are killing me right now is the “I will do it all by myself attitude” and the questions phase.She tried to wear shoes by herself yesterday and have done that wrongly,though i insisted she change it,she wanted to continue the same way it was and came all the way with shoes wrongly worn.

Questions phase have improved from ‘W’ series to more logical and more reasoned and seasoned.I informed her we are going on a play date to My gym around 11.Questions started from then “Appa office poitaale,yaar nammala kootindu pova?” (Appa is in office,who will take us) i answer her “I will call driver”. When time was nearing ” Amma its time now,have you called driver?” ( I answer her yes i have called).from the next minute when she hears a vehicle noise she asked me “has driver come ?”.

Finally driver came and we were into car she asks me “Have you confirmed the play date ? have you checked if they will be open today?”

Sathiyama mudiyala!!!

 

More on the title later.

Did not write for a long time,something terrible in the home front.

On the easter day,suddenly she had high fever 39.5,she had medicines and was ok on Monday,again on Monday evening fever rose up to 40.5 and she was admitted for almost a week. On thursday fever went up to 41.2 and did not answer for any medicines,nothing worked for her,except sponging,that is the only thing which brought down the temperature. Test results were all normal expect for indicating bacterial infection with WBC count high up until 22k.

Needless to say i was scared and heart broken,it was extremely traumatic with  high temperature as 41.2,you are not sure what to do and i cried calling my mom.We had prayed to all gods  in this world.Though doctor claims it to be a simple bacterial infection,they are clueless as why the temp is increasing heavily and i did consult with her Indian pediatrician and she was also clueless,doctor said this infection is common here nowdays.Whatever,those were absolute nightmarish days of checking temp,sleepless nights of sponging,holding your baby to get hurt by strangers etc.,etc.,.Even today am paranoid as what if the fever would return.

My amma says it’s the bad spell of the home in which you live, after this lead DD also started thinking that way,to an extent that is right,after coming here Ambuli got serious illness and beginning of this year was terrible for us and end of April horrible. A close friend of DD calls it “jinx”,am not able to conclude on anything.

Post hospital blues has a deep effect on her,ever cranky,cringing and uncontrollably crying for everything,to be precise crying at the drop of the hat and hurting me n dd.And cries heavily while dropping at school.Am again clueless as how to deal with this,just assuming this as a phase and waiting to pass through.

DD is not in town this week and am to drop her at school and pick her up,yesterday she sobbed so long right in the car itself.So today morning struggle started while trying to dress up itself,she picked up her favorite soft toy and claimed that she will take him to school. I tried to leave that toy when leaving home,but she rejected heavily and carried it all the way to school and back home.

So what is the favorite soft toy? Its an elephant we got her after India trip,while in India i bought this book “Gajapathi Kulapathi”(Tulika fame) for her and she enjoyed it immensely it was a staple meal time book for her,so this elephant was named as “Gabba kuthi” in her vocab.Elephant is her favorite animal anytime and Gabba kuthi just flamed it well,she will eat with it,sleep with it,wash it,feed it,clean the bum and today it went to school.