Child sexual abuse is one of those,which goes un noticed,but daunt the victim.The issue is many parents are not conscious of this and many close their eyes as this will not happen to their child and the few concerned also do not give the strength and courage to face this abuse,only a few parents are ready for this.

Talking about CSA,it can come from anyone and to any kid,not restricted to girls alone,any kids is vulnerable considering the predators around.Many of us in our lifetime would have surely encountered CSA,only the magnitude differs.

Few months back i read a book based on real life incident happened in California and was  shocked.The book was “Steven stayner abduction case”.The real life story was horrifying and than that author describes the  gay clubs and forums in USA which is targeting on young boys,celebrities included and funding for this comes from them.They abduct or use a neighbourhood kids to satisfy their hunger.There were also straight cases were older men are interested in girl kids from the age of 4 yrs,including a popular author.

The accused in steven staynor case was let go free after 7 years in this,because of the state laws are limited to punish him only for 7 years,after which he took in charge of a boy’s hostel guardian,something like treasure under control of  thief.

If this is the case in USA,what happens in India is there is no separate legislation to handle offences against children.There are a lot of kids being trafficked and used for commercial sex purposes,that is a whole different chapter.

Coming to kids in our household,which we claim they are safe,are really not safe.As stated by everyone,it is always a known person who commits the crime,an excellent example is the abduction and murder of two kids happened in Coimbatore by their driver.These are all extreme cases, but there is always a moderate assault on any kid that grows up.

 A recent article in a magazine by a CSA adviser here tells a sexual abuse by their own parents,

“The teen age girl was made to sleep with her parents in the same room and she saw horrible stuff in middle of night,which affected all her performance,when she wanted to sleep in separate room,the parents did not allow. Upon serious results in academics and personal behavior, this girl was taken to counselling and the truth came out.So sexual abuse can also happen mentally.”

 With my daughter being very social and mixes with adults very well,am always scared and i make sure that she is within my eye reach.I have once got a wonderful book from the ministry of health here,which had simple pictorial explanation about the rights of his/her own body a child has.With scenarios explained as when they should say ‘Yes’ and when he should say “No”. Kissing a child on the cheek even when she/he dislikes is a abuse.

So what do we do about it

1. Remove all your false belief as girl kids are only targeted and boys are considerably safe.Dont think that abuse is most of the time straight,it can be anyway,world is weird,cannot trust ladies also.

2. The best of all is to show a smooth and trusted relation with your little one and make them speak more on daily happenings.

3.Educate them,to the best level you can.About the touches,and some scenarios when they should respond with a “No” and tell them that needs to be reported to you immediately.

4.When the kid is trying to say something,dont hush them,try to find out from them and confront the person,even if he/she is very close.

5.If there are any unexplained bruises,ask them smoothly and find out the reason behind it.

6. When you are leaving your kid with someone else,make sure you leave her/him to a very trusted family and there is a kid which can accompany.

7. When you send our kids to play in apartment floor or garden downstairs,have a check every 15 mins as where they are.

8.Just dont succumb because people might think that you are paranoid, have your own rules to handle things.Always make sure that your child understands,strangers are harmful(not always,but still) and they should exercise caution towards them.

9. Always monitor the external help you hire to take care of kids,even though they are not involved directly,they may bring in someone.

10. Older kids can also abuse sometimes,so make sure that you keep track of your kids friend at any point of time.You can always find out if their intention is bad.

11.Train travel in india is especially tough with the bunch of morons around,whenever you travel you accompany the kid to washroom in train and keep an eye on fellow travellers who try to befriend your kid,they may be harmless,but never take a chance.

12. School tours or field trips are not to be avoided,but there is always a potential danger with teacher to kid ratio being small.

The best practise is  to educate them appropriately and maintain a open talk relationship with your kid and be vigilant all the time.

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Together with the info shared and vigilance lets keep our children safe.

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